There’s actually no turning back when your 20,000ft+ in the air. I looked at the emergency exit and contemplated finding a parachute and jumping, but a quick glance at the Flight Tracker suggested I would be landing somewhere in the Yukon. I somehow forgot my favorite thermal wear so I chose to take my chances with Yun’s parents, whom I had never met before.

I told Yun I would meet her at our hotel where we would then go meet her family together. Unknown to her I had coordinated with her sister to pick me up at the hotel before she arrived from Japan. My mission:

1. To introduce myself

2. Ask for their daughters hand in marriage

In that order, though given the rushed timing I may have to scrap #1. Fresh off a trans-Pacific flight I grabbed the ring, a photo album, and hopped into the older sister’s car. Now her parents don’t speak English so this all had to be done through a translator who was a combo of her sister and brother in-law, bless their hearts. The plan was to say hello, chat for a few minutes, show the parents the album (Look! We were together in the same place), then show them the ring. Actually everything went according to plan. I realize I’m going through this with the tact of Big Bird moderating a peace deal between Putin and Ukraine but the reality was this would be the only time I would have a private moment with her parents without Yun present. There was however an unexpected reaction to the big reveal of the wedding ring, it was not as dramatic nor clear as I had imagined. The “wedding ring” apparently is a western idea, where the vision of a diamond on a ring immediately signifies marriage. In this case, just from the expression on their faces it was either “oh, a nice gift” or shock. Yun and her sister have assured me it was the former but the more I think about it it could be the latter. Anyways the result from the secret meeting was to wait and see how things go during the week. Which I am happy to respect. I’m not sure what response I expected but as long as they didn’t run me over with their motorbikes I was gonna be happy.

After this rendezvous I made my way back to the hotel and completely passed out waiting for Yun – emotionally, physically exhausted. As I drifted off, the thought of waking up looking at the woman I was gonna marry flashed across my mind for the first time.

She opened the door, looked over the bed and stared at me. Still unknowing what exactly has happened before her arrival.  Our relationship up to this point has been a series of long pauses interrupted by adventures together. In Tokyo, weeks of work were bookended by the cleanest train rides, Japanese beer, and late night walks through Shibuya. The USA trip came after 4 or 5 months apart, though excited and happy there was a strange calmness to our time together. We had expected the trip to provide insight into our future together but our ease probably means we already had feelings about such a thing decided beforehand. So as she stood there, in our hotel in Saigon, now 4 months after her visit to the States, we just smiled. There is no over-compensation between us, we don’t need to jump around the room when we see each other again. We’ve been through this before and besides we would separate once more in a week.

Saigon 

We spent our first couple days wandering around Saigon. The country itself appears to be in a makeover. There is construction EVERYWHERE. The pace and youthfulness of Vietnam’s population gave it a liveliness. Of course traveling anywhere is not complete without enjoying its traditional cuisines and libations. I was finally exposed to the glory of Vietnamese coffee. Seriously, this is incredible stuff. After those first few droplets hit my tongue no morning since has been the same. It became as much a part of our morning routine as brushing our teeth. So imagine waking up, a little tired from traveling around the previous day. Walking out into the Vietnamese sun stumbling to one of the many coffee shops. They bring you a glass filled with ice, you then mix in some condensed milk and coffee. The coffee is kept in a small stainless steel cup with small holes in the bottom of it. Hot water is poured on the coffee and deliciousness comes out the bottom. Pictures of this can be seen in the gallery below. Of course no Vietnamese trip is complete without some phở, a bowl of noodles, some meat, veggies, and some herbs. Different parts of Vietnam have different phở and I recommend eating ALL OF THEM. Anyways we met some of her friends and other family members, had some nice dinners. Then it was off to her hometown, Pleiku. About an hour’s flight away.

Pleiku

I have to say the most interesting portion of the trip was taking a taxi ride to an area in the highlands called  Đắk Lắk. From Pleiku, Đắk Lắk is about 100 miles. Our trip to Đắk Lắk was to include an elephant ride and historical site seeing. Both Yun’s Mom and Dad wanted to make the trip. Only her Dad ended up making the trip with us because the taxi ride was too “bumpy” for her Mom. Bumpy. The ride wasn’t bumpy, it was more like riding a paddle boat through a thunderstorm in the open ocean. The road from Pleiku to Đắk Lắk was in severe disrepair. The trip actually took 5 hours, right, a 100 mile trip in 5 hours…in a taxi. The driver, a master pothole avoider, was a our captain. Along the way we were passed by tour buses going twice the speed. No longer did I wonder why we took the taxi. The bus drivers are compensated by their swiftness, if they fail to complete the trip in the allotted time they are relieved of their duties. Passengers on the tour buses are, and I do not mean this superficially, are risking their lives taking the tour bus.

So we reached Đắk Lắk. We visited one of the preserved areas for a different culture than the majority Kinh people of Vietnam. We were told the story of how they traveled from Indonesia and settled in the highlands. They adapted by domesticating Elephants and using them for building up their communities. We were shown a large arc like structure in which they lived, adding on to it with successive additions of families. We were told the story of a legendary Elephant trapper. Eventually we learned that not many elephants exist in Vietnam any more. They are too expensive to care for and protect. We did ride an elephant around for about 20 minutes but I would have been happy to have just appreciated the area rather than ride the elephant. What made the trip even more special was that Yun’s father had learned something about Vietnam that day.  On the way back we blew a tire on the taxi. Fortunately, though not surprisingly, there are many mechanics right on this road. While waiting for the repairs the sun set on the Vietnamese highlands and we got a chance to stare at the stars for a while. After leaving at 5am in the morning, we got back home around 10pm.

Staying over night in Pleiku was a great chance to see what Vietnamese life was like. Her mother keeps chickens in the back yard. She sacrificed one of them for dinner while we were there. It was definitely a different texture chicken than I’m used to, but I would say the taste was the same. Each morning Yun, her mother, and I would go in search of a coffee house. We met her Aunt and Uncle who run a coffee plantation. Before departing Pleiku they gave me 6 kg of Vietnamese coffee! Now a staple of my morning routine. Another short motorbike ride during the day included what I would call a Hammock Bar. Basically 2 rows of 5 hammocks were lined up. We ordered some coconuts and drank straight from the fruit. Kinda cute.

Proposal

At this point I realized there was no way for her parents to give me the ok to propose. I had to call in some back up (Yun). I told Yun that I was not going to propose to her without their consent. Previous to this trip we had already discussed getting married so there wasn’t much surprise there. I won’t go into the details, but we basically sat together after dinner. Her parents asked some basic questions and said it was ok. Soon after I brought the ring into the room where Yun and her mom were sitting. I gave her the photo album I had put together with the ring on the very last page. Kinda clumsily I told her I loved her and wanted to spend our lives together. It’s super uncomfortable typing this stuff so I’ll stop here.

Nha Trang

After Pleiku we flew back to Saigon. The last part of our trip included a night train to a famous vacation spot called Nha Trang. It’s on the coast of Vietnam with incredibly scenic views (also included in some of the pictures). We tried a relatively new activity that was invented in France called Fly Boarding. They strap special boots to your feet in the water. The boots are attached to a jetski. When the jetski’s engine is revved, water is ejected from the boots and if balanced properly you are levitated above the water. We tried that out for a short time with mixed levels of success. Afterwards we found out Yun injured her foot and we paid a visit to the local hospital. The special boots for fly boarding are really meant for men or big footed women (which Yun is not). She was okay but had to stay off her feet for the rest of our time in Vietnam.

Farewell 

The last couple days were spent in Saigon with her sister’s family. Her sister went out of her way to find custom made Ao Dai dresses. These are somewhat formal traditional dresses worn for some special occasions.  We visited the night market, enjoyed our final meals together and once again found each other saying good bye at the airport. At this point we knew the next time we see each other will be for our wedding. Together we sat on a bench at the airport, more content than I have ever been in my life.

I’ve always really liked the moon. On a clear warm night it is like a gateway to wonder. It’s existence reminds me our place in the universe, we’re all just sitting here on a rock floating through space next to some other rocks. The moon’s pockmarked impact riddled face must have perplexed our ancestors. If the heavens are perfect why is this singular bright thing shining down on us so uniquely imperfect.

And then there’s the regularity of its gradual disappearance. It’s both eternal and forever changing. Sometimes on my walk home from work (as it gets dark around 5pm in Japan) I would stare up at it and feel connection home. The light is also shining on my loved ones and my history.

The glow of Japan eventually wore off after a few months, and after that I was left with a somewhat regular life style. Like the moon, I fell into regularity and would wax and wane into discoveries less frequently than when I first arrived.

But, unlike the moon our lives are not eternal. We have dates and deadlines, departures and arrivals. Which means sometimes we have to say goodbye. They come faster than we thought, and aren’t as complete as we ever want them to be.

This post is the story of refusing to say goodbye, even when reason says we should…

She was standing by herself with a lazy smile; and kind of bouncing to the music but in a sly way that said “I got all dressed up today, I better not be dancing to myself all night.” I couldn’t resist of course and in a rare moment of confident decisive action, I took her hand.

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Full Moon

I picked her up at the train station with two bicycles waiting. Normally not the best way to impress a woman, but I didn’t have a car. She arrived wearing a skirt on a 50 degree night. She said something along the lines of “oh wow I haven’t ridden a bicycle in so long, I’m so excited!”

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Half Moon

The lifestyle in Japan can be incredibly solitary. Especially as a foreigner. Suddenly after meeting this little Vietnamese girl it felt like taking off sunglasses on a cloudy day. Every weekend was filled with joy, and ended with sorrowful goodbyes as I left home for Tsukuba. We were inseparable and every day apart we thought of our next time together. And together we looked deep into our eyes and increasingly felt the crush of the ensuing final goodbye.

Looking out over Odaiba

All this is ours! Muahahaha

I think we tried 10 times and not one of them had both of us smiling or not doing a silly face. This is as good as it gets

In Odaiba

You could see Fuji on a clear day from here.

I think Fuji would be out ther

Tokyo Auto show

Some cool stuff

Pretty ladies

Such a hot guy…apparently

My favorite car.

Just wanted a picture of the girl

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New Moon

In our final month we:

– Went to Robot Restaurant

– Ate the deadly Fugu Fish (blowfish)

– Saw the lights all around Tokyo for their holiday “Illuminations”

– Ate a lot of pineapple

– Ate sushi at the famouse Tsukiji fish market

– Got mad at each other for living so far away

– Rode the train to the airport together one last time.

And just like that we said goodbye. I think we both accepted in our own minds that we would trade the suffering of this kind of goodbye for the unforgettable times we had together.

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And that’s my Japanese adventure. I didn’t really given anybody I met a proper goodbye and I don’t think it would be possible anyways. All I can do is assure them that the memories we had together are forever and take solace knowing they affected me for the rest of my life.

Thank you everybody for reading this blog. I know it trailed off for the 2nd part of my trip and I am a little regretful for that. There may come a time when I return to Japan for a sequel and it will of course be covered here. But you know there’s no recapturing that first exploration such as I had here and I’m getting a little sentimental thinking about that terrifying morning when I was about to board the plane to Tokyo, and riding the train with my huge bags. There were so many unknowns and so many things to discover and well now they’ve been discovered. The past will now have to act as a motivator for the future, to go out and find that sense of wonder. I love you all, and thank you again!

どうもありがとうございます

My sincerest gratitude and dearest salutations:

Guillaume for being my unwavering travel companion

Jero for being the most gracious, patient, caring host I’ve ever met

Part 1                                                      Part 2

Moving on to our 2nd installment of this 3 part series we’ll start on another island: Taiwan. One of the best things about living in Asia is the easy accessibility you have to so many different places to visit. It was a short 3 hour flight to Taipei. After Taiwan I’ll show what happens to a completely American celebration when placed in the Japanese hands. And finally I climb another small Japanese mountain called Takao san.

Taiwan

These were our tokens to take Taipei transit. Thought they were itneresting

Pig’s Blood Cake

Meetings up with grace

Guillaume singing a song

The guy really loving the song

Windy boat!

Rainbow bridge. Couples have to cross the bridge holding haands the whole way or they will break up

Aww

We’re going up a rotaiting viewing room

At the top of Taipei

Big treasure chest thing that everybody else was taking pictures next to

A controversial museum in Taipei. Many of the artifacts in here were stolen from China

The museum at night

Mystical hand on top of a temple

Mystical hand has a red globe in the center

The spirt tree

Buddha

Taiwanese street

Street food

temple

Sun moon lake. A little cloudy 😦

Sun moon lake

no no no I don’t wanna take a picture!

Holding on to the kid like a fotball.

So many pictures next to these sun moon lake stones. I only included one.

The little monster.

Your screams only make daddy stronger.

Stinky Tofu

Stinky Tofu

Bubble tea

Taipei 101

Taipei 101. Can’t get it all in one picture

Taipei

Damper Baby.

Stats of damper baby

Huge hotel while leaving Taiwan.

Our trip to Taiwan was short and sweet. Just one short weekend plus a Monday. I had 2 contacts in Taiwan and we eventually met with both of them. Most of our time was spent in Taipei but we took a short trip to the center of the country to “The heart of Taiwan” called Sun Moon Lake. What I thought would be interesting is whether we  would be able to use either English or our terrible Japanese to communicate. Because Taiwan and Japan are so close to each other, I was told, there was a chance we might have luck with Japanese. Ultimately we ended up pointing and gesturing at maps and directions to get where we needed to go because neither languages were helpful. After dropping stuff of at the hostel, we went to Tamsui which is an area right of the Taiwan Subway that features a really nice boardwalk and some shops. We walked by (but didn’t try) something called Pig’s Blood Cake. Traveled into a french bakery where the shop keeper is mic’d up and was singing some Spanish tunes – after learning Guillaume was French the two of them sang karaoke together in this bread shop (pictures included).  Don’t ask me why he wanted to sing Spanish. What I really liked about this trip was we could directly compare the Taiwanese and Japanese cultures. Immediately I was struck by the unrestrained curiosity of some of the strangers we met. Guillaume and I would be looking at a map and somebody would walk by and ask “what are you doing today” and they would respond with “ok that sounds nice, but what you really should do is X, Y, and Z – let me show you how to get there”.  We arrived with only a general outline of what we wanted to do, but after just a few hours of arriving we had each day planned by the hour. Coming from Japan where people are very reserved and polite I was honestly “culture shocked” from Japan to Taiwan. Kind of fun.

The first night we found a bar which apparently is frequented by friends of the owners. One of the friends came over and offered us a drink at one point. Before we knew it we were singing karaoke together and coordinating our plans even more for the next days. One of the mandatory things to do in Taipei is to go to the night market. It features all kinds of food and clothes and trinkettes and whatever. We ordered a bucket of snails and ate maybe 3 or 4 of them before getting tired of them. The next day we traveled to sun moon lake with a friend who we worked with in the states. It’s a lake right in the middle of Taiwan. His wife had a little baby boy while they were living in the U.S. and we finally got to visit him about a year later. He had such a big personality already we enjoyed using him as our entertainment for the day. We visited what used to be the tallest tower in the world from 2004-2010: Taipei 101. The unique architecture and enormity of it was really incredible. In the pictures you’ll see a big gold ball looking thing. They call it “Damper Baby”. Because Taiwan has so many earthquakes this huge sky scraper needs some counterbalance weight to keep it from swaying. The sheer size of the things makes it a fairly popular tourist attraction. One last thing I have to mention about Taiwan is the stinky tofu. As we were walking around the night market, Guillaume and I kept smelling some terrible smell. We blamed it on some cattle that must have gone through for some reason. Well the next day after sun moon lake our friend with the kid said we had to try stinky tofu. A guy in a truck with a greasy fryer attached to it drives up to us and we dig in. NEVER AGAIN. I strongly recommend that you try stinky tofu when you have a chance so that you may now appreciate any other food you ever eat.

Halloween

Alright so this one is kind of silly. I don’t know what I am. My buddy Jero went as the character from Clockwork Orange. One night we went to a Japanese Halloween party that was located in some room of a high rise. In true Japanese style this party was super organized! We were served drinks and dinner by buffet. Then after eating and drinking a little we stand in a circle and introduce our costume. After which we begin a jan/ken/pon tournament. AKA: Rock, paper scissors. After each round the winner is given 100Yen from the loser and this continues until there is one champion. The next weekend we went to an area in Tokyo famous for foreigners called Roppongi. It was kind of madness in the streets there. Everybody, I mean everybody was dressed up in some excellent costumes. It was so much fun to simply walk around and check out all the people. I don’t have anything intelligent to say about this night. But we did see 4 or 5 people drive by in go-karts dressed up as Mario Kart characters. Awesome!

Takao

Jero and I went to Mt.Takao with some of our friends from the Japanese party. It’s located about an hour or so from Tokyo and is smaller than Tsukuba-san. I think given how small living spaces are its really nice to finally get outside and get some exercise. At this part I’m starting to realize my Japanese adventure is getting closer to the end. It is not possible to decline invitations to any activity and of course I don’t think I could have enjoyed the final month or two any more. Life of course is filled with so many surprises and to this I devote one more post

Back to Part 1                                                                    Part 3 (coming)